I returned! heres an update of the week

I am pretty stressed out since there is only about 20 days left of the semester. I have been trucking along but i cannot focus on anything! I sit down to write a term paper and i get distracted by the dogs or the great weather or needing to vacuum, usually something stupid. then i get mad at myself around 10 when i realize i need to go to bed, arg!

But the good news is that Duke graduated! my baby girl passed her doggy class! she did so good and i was really nervous that she wouldnt pass but she did well. everyones families were there and it made me sad that i was by myself, but i realized that I am alright with being alone. I have gone to movies by myself and i can eat by myself so i can sure enough go to a dog graduation by myself.

Wazi is about to phase up to 5+ this week, i am really excited! this means he can come home on the weekend without driving back to formation everyday. It also means he can start setting up our house and turning on the electricity and stuff before i show up with all of our furniture. The furniture guys show up on the 7th and I graduate on the 15th and leave in the morning afte rgraduation. Also if waz phases up he might be coming home for my graduation!!! It would literally make all of my dreams come true if he could come to this one event. I miss him terribly.

Oh this is super scattered but here are some pictures from the beach too.

a weekend of really deep thoughts

This picture is the day I took him to MEPS and he left for basic training. It is hard to think that he left almost 6 months ago. I keep trying to think positively but one of my classes is trying to get me more "in touch" with my emotions and i realized I AM A WRECK! I have to make the decision everyday to choose to go on with my life without him being here and everyday i do that i push down my emotions that tell me to stay in bed all day and forget about school and work. my emotions are telling me to eat ice cream or take a hot bath because know one will care if i show up to class or not. My emotions are pretty negative I have to say. I am trying really hard to encourage everyone around me and be a strong shoulder but its hard because when i need a strong shoulder i dont see many people i could call at 1am besides my mom or waz.



If i keep going ill just get more and more negative so I am going to think about positive things. I went to IKEA and got the rest of our matching dishes yesterday and i was really excited to get new dishes for our new house. the other ones are pretty cheap and dont really hold up much to scratches and the dishwasher. I also went to church and heard an AMAZING message and it almost made me cry. Pastor Francis was talking about destiny and what do we think our future looks like, it was so perfect for me to hear. I have to make the decision to either trust God with my future and let him be in control or I can try to fight him for power and never win. I had a good long talk with God in the car on the way home and i decided i was going to help other people as much as i can. That very afternoon I signed up to be on the bone marrow registry and if anyone matches my type then i can give them bone marrow to save their life. I know it will be painful but I am really excited to do it, maybe it will show me how to live like others who are suffering.

night for now, 37 days until I am in my new home!

Its been awhile...

So Its been about two weeks since Ive written but a TON of stuff has been going on.

1) I took my comp exam and not only did i pass, but I was one of the top 5 scores!

2) I flew down to augusta and had a large difficulty finding a place to live that would accept us and our dogs. People in the south are not exactly dog friendly when it comes to renting a home. We found one and Waz is turning in the lease tomorrow and we will officially be moving into our beautiful 3 bedroom house in May. He gets there May 1st and ill be there by the 20th, even though i am leaving here on the 16th. I am really excited to finally live with Waz again after 6 months and to just be an adult and be done with school. It was a lot of really hard work and it was scary to see the negotiating side of me, but we got it! We loved it because of the blue walls, its our wedding colors!

3) I realized today after writing out all of my assignments for the rest of the semester and I felt really accomplished. then i saw Kaela ( the best friend) and I realized that i wouldnt be able to see her everyday anymore or get to talk to her whenever i want or have our girls movie night on tuesday. I am so excited to move away, but I am realizing that I am going to have to go through this every time we move. I almost cried thinking about losing some friends, but then i realized that if the relationships are strong they will last no matter where i am. Ill miss my friends though.

4) wednesday night happy hour with my girls has become a raging success. We are known by name at the bar and the bartender loves us and allows us to be horribly obnoxious. He let us call him enrique and tell him to water down drinks of the boys we didnt like across the bar. I love that i can still have this fun without trying to get drunk or get into competition. He tries to get us to drink more and we try to get him to talk more and he listens to whats going on in our life and gives advice, its like the tv show cheers. i love it! I am really glad i have friends who care enough to go out with me in the middle of the week and live in a town small enough that my name is remembered.

Comp part 1

Comp section one done, one more to go.
Wazi has his phase up test on wednesday, and he feels really good about it, his PT test is on Friday so he has a lot to do this week. Its weird how we are both testing on the same days, its like being in school together again. I did get a card in the mail and it made me really miss him.


I leave for Portland Friday morning and then I fly out to Augusta Sunday night so I am glad i get to spend time with everyone close to me and still have time for myself. I am really excited to get down there so i can relax, house shop, and spend time with my family as well as my hubby. If he phases up then I am taking him and his best friend out for a fun night out on the town, maybe go shooting or our to a fancy dinner. I left it up to the boys to decide. I am feeling really good and adult like about this week. I even bought a new dress to wear for my test today and i felt really good in it and it made me way more confident. Even though today was stressful in the end it was a good day. I think i may even skip my class in the morning to get some extra sleep in to reward myself.

I also have to get all my travel arrangements set and call the housing people to PCS our stuff to Georgia without too much delay.
night for now

relaxed

I feel realllly good about this test. I can do it, I can do it! I am in my old bed at the in-laws and me and duke are about to knockout to the sound of dogs snoring. Spoticus is happily playing with the neighor dogs and it looks like an all around good night. Tomorrow I plan on laying out on the trampoline and going through flashcards and soaking up the sun. I was looking at pictures of me from this summer and i look sickly right now. I need some B vitamins and sun soon before I show up to Georgia and people think I am ill.

I am trying to have no distractions this weekend so I am going to be away from the computer for awhile, hopefully.

In-Laws In-Laws In-Laws

I am going to visit my in-laws tomorrow! I dont know why I am so excited, but i think i need a trip to the beach to just relax. I am really excited about just resting and studying without hearing noise outside my window and being woken up by the sun and not my neighbors alarm clock. I am definately ready for spring break.

blessings

My week has been pretty busy, studying and getting all of my school stuff squared away so i can go see wazi. I talked to the financial aid department and the VA is paying for my housing and will mail me a check sometime soon, that is such a blessing since i struggled the first month he was gone because he didnt get paid so my savings account is like $50. I am really excited about God working in our lives and learning that even though I may be nervous or upset for things to come, its all in his timing. Makes me wanna shout haha.

Wazi got his duty station for everyday until he starts school whenever they decide. He is working at signal tower and he said he really loves it and likes the people he is working with, which definately makes me happy. I am really glad to be able to talk to a cheerful husband everyday and be able to be cheerful back at him. We have been through alot of worse, and I am really glad to be going through the better. Ill love him either way, but I sure do enjoy talking to someone who laughs at jokes and has weird impersonations of the people around him. I cant wait to move down there and meet all of his friends, maybe they will be married so I can talk to their wives. I can only hope.

Hopefully tonight ill go to bed before 3 am...

Sunday Funday

Today i feel really accomplished! I woke up late, because i forgot about the time change and had missed church by an hour. I decided to start my 10 page paper that is due thursday as well as my book report, and i somehow got it all done before 2 oclock. Then i made an early dinner and did my Romans homework and listened to a podcast of a sermon online. Then i really applied myself and went over the last few sections of the comp exam, there are 11 sections and i am on the last part. After tomorrows study group i will go full steam ahead and do only comp work until the test which is in ONE WEEK! If i pass i get to graduate, and also get to focus on my other classes i have been neglecting. I really need this to go over well.

I also got to talk to Wazi a few times today, he seemed to be in a better mood and alittle more hopeful. I think its because he knows that i am stressed and that I am coming down in just 14 days. I really like being able to talk and laugh again and make fun of weird stuff. I think he is also feeling better because he moved into his best friends room. His old roommates were really dirty, rude, and would go AWOL so that they could go offbase and drink. He decided it would be better to stay away from those guys and hang out with guys who really care about the Army values and their families. I am proud of my little man, I am glad i decided to marry him, finally haha. only took me three years to walk down the aisle.

alright night for now, so i can actually wake up on time for class tomorrow.

Bad week, its almost over

This week has been really hard on me and Wazi. I had to present a case study, had a final, and two midterms this week so i have been busy. I have been really concerned with Wazi because he had to take a written test to see if he could phase up, but he didnt pass. Only 5 people passed the test and he took it really hard. He has been doubting himself and keeps repeating that he wants to come home. I am trying really hard to be supportive and encouraging but on tuesday he didnt want to talk on the phone at all becasue he somehow felt like he let me down. I think this is the part they dont tell you about when you get married, you have to be supportive and realistic at the same time. I love him, I have never doubted that, but it is hard to not be there to just give him a hug and cuddle him. Whenever we have a bad day when he was here I would always remind him of the things we have and have a "Wazis favorite things day". That was tv, his favorite food, letting him veg out on the couch for awhile and then playing video games. Its like the male heaven.


The good news out of all of this is that when i get down there he has put in a request for leave so he will at least be able to see me everyday and then come and be with me on the weekend. I am really going to enjoy being with him and just be married again. Also they put an unofficial start date to when he might start classes and it would be March 29, his commander doesnt think that will happen but lets keep our fingers crossed.

I definately have to go to bed, early morning fun to be had.

the night before phasing up

I AM SO NERVOUS FOR WAZI! He has his first test tomorrow but he just found out about it today so he is worried he may not know everything he needs to know. I am praying extremely hard for him and I have given him space so that he can focus on the test and remembering the the 2 binders he had to memorize. If he passes then that means he can get a pass to visit me when i come down in two weeks for spring break, but if not then he has to wait a really long time to try to rephase up, I have to pray that I also have the strength to be supportive and not angry if he doesnt pass, oh the world of the military wife! I am getting butterflies just thinking about it, I have to force myself to sleep or i will be up all night thinking about this.

hopefully good news will follow, night

Away we go?

I am getting past the middle of the semester and i am enjoying it very very much. I have already had two midterms and i have one more this week and then i can just focus on my regular school work, Yay!

Today i tried to figure out why i havent gotten an insurance card from tricare yet, since right now i am not covered at all by any insurance even though money is coming out of Wazis check every month for medical. I am hoping in case of emergency it will all be worked out, but I tend to be on the nervous side. My plan is to call them when i get a break this week and figure it out, hopefully i will be less adventurous until i get my insurance card.

I watched the movie "Away We Go" with maya rudolph and John Krasinski and it made me so happy i cried. I love when i see a movie that shows me how amazing real life is and normal life decisions with people you love. definately something i enjoyed greatly, made me sad because its about a couple who is having a baby and they are trying to find a place to raise their child, but they are so in love they just go with the flow. I hope when me and waz finally decide to have kids we arent in the middle of being shipped to a new duty station. I think that is what scares me the most about military life, being uprooted anytime to go anywhere and i cannot do anything to protect my children from that. I want them to have a stable home, but I guess stable love is going to have to do. only 20 more years of this...

I am hoping my week goes by fast, I am really excited to see Wazi in about 2 weeks and to get my Comp done at the same time. I just want to be able to find a house that i love and get everything taken care of so we can just cuddle and be together, I cannot wait. I also want to be able to catch up on my reading that I have been putting off because I have been studying so much, chick lit here i come!

Night for now

This is what the boys have been doing during the day

I am glad that he is getting paid for this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXT1Gvba6kI

Study Study Study, and Fun at the BBall championships

I had an amazing time with Kaela and sa tonight at the WJU basketball game. It was good to get out of the house and completely heckle an boo horrible refs and laugh with friends. I realized halfway through the game that this was the last basketball game i would ever go to at my college since it was the championship game and i graduate in 2 months. After the game we went out for frozen yogurt and laughed until we cried. I really love those girls, I am glad I have date night with them every week.

On another note, I probably should have been studying instead of going to the game because my graduation exams are in 2 weeks and i am in no way ready. I am alittle worried but Ive already started flashcards so that is a good sign. Once i pass these tests I am pretty much home free towards graduation. If i dont pass I dont graduate, so no pressure... Me and Wazi are trying to encourage eachother because he needs to pass some tests in order to phase up so he can move off base with me and i have to take a test in order to see him, its kind of cool. I miss that kid for sure, but now I have to study for a few midterms i have in the next few days, night for now!

mosque experience and baby

For my cross cultural class we had to go and observe a cultural different from our own and i chose the middle eastern culture, specifically muslim. I went to the mosque tonight and actually enjoyed myself. It helped me to see what they believe as well as confirmed what i believe. It was a really good experience and has made me see that i really need to get out of my bubble more often. i really want to learn more about the Jewish culture, not just the heritage but the on going things that are happening now.

BABY WATCH '10
Still no baby, but she was having strong contractions last night so that is a good sign. her due date is march 5th so she is perfectly on time. I cannot wait til May where i get to finally see my cousin and my beautiful new addition. Good thing she is having kids, takes the pressure off me to start from the family. they dont really understand why we arent popping out kids already or why we arent even thinking about it in the next couple of years. Mexican families tend to be about big families, and Wazis is no exception. We will have our big family one day, just not for the next few years.

night for now

the recap of my week

I feel horrible about not writing the last few days, Ive been busy!

1) I was actually able to counsel someone at my internship! It felt amazing to actually make a connection with someone and be able to bond, yet still be able to be professional. I was so happy i called my mom right after the session and told her how i felt God moving in my session and how i really feel like this is what i am called to do. it was also amazing that my executive director had enough faith in me to let me affect someone that way.

2) I love being able to talk to Wazi everyday and being able to plan for the future, especially our monthly discussion about babies. (not going to be anytime soon)

3) School has been hectic! Ive been taking 7 classes now and it has been extremely stressful trying to keep up with all of my homework and still being able to study. My cross cultural counseling class is amazing, but i have to read like 5-7 chapters a week and i have a paper due each week on those chapters, and that is just one class. I love that i actually enjoy my classes this semester but it is going to be difficult to squeeze in my comp exam in order to graduate in the next month.blech

4) My cousin is 39 weeks pregnant and Ive been talking to her almost daily to make sure she is doing ok and that she pushes out my baby safely. Its the first baby of our generation and I am really excited for her, i feel like her baby is like mine since i wont be having any anytime soon. I get to see her in about 2 months so I need her to push her out fast!

5) I bought my ticket to go down to Augusta today! I am really excited to go house shopping and be able to wake up everyday and at least see him during his lunch breaks. I am also excited because we got our tax return and it definately helps so we can put down a housing deposit. I am so excited to plan for the future, but sometimes i forget to think about what is happening during the day. I am so happy that God has been providing, and I am glad that we arent living the same we were last semester where we were living paycheck to paycheck but im sad that it is compromising the time i get to spend with my hubby. Well this is enough for now, Night!

These are pictures of our family minus wazi, spoticus is the black weiner dog and duke is the new addition and she is definately a handful!

Want to go home

I feel like this has been one of my hardest weeks. I miss him very much and life here isnt making it any easier to move on. I feel like none of my friends are able to understand my point of view or what i am feeling. i dont want to talk about my husband all day and all night, but if i am not going out everyday of the week then all i have to talk about is school, work, my internship and him. I think Ive gotten to the point where i realize that after i move they probably wont be apart of my life because of the distance and im just trying to hold on to the ones who i am really close with. I love the fact that i have friends all over the united states, especially knowing that if i was having a bad army day i could count on them, its really hard being here in a small town and not being able to drive 12 hours to my best friend or go see Wazi. I want to be the positive voice that Wazi hears every night before he goes to bed so he doesnt have to worry about what is going on, its just hard to be positive when i can only think about the distance. I miss my close personal relationships and cannot wait until I graduate so i can reconnect with those who truly care for me. I miss you guys!

PS wazis dad came out of heart surgery last week doing just fine. Wazi also had to have oral surgery to get rid of a bump he had in his mouth and now hes all swollen and cant laugh or make a kissing noise over the phone without making his mouth bleed, its sorta funny. reminds me of when he was really drugged up when he got his wisdom teeth pulled, good times.

My hubby is amazing.

I got to see Wazi graduate! The ceremony was amazing and his family got to come see him graduate and it was just an all over good experience. We got to spend valentines day together and just relax and get him moved into the barracks. It made me realize I am really happy that we got married, even though we have been seperated since november. I did learn that we get to move together at the armys expense once i graduate. We are apartment hunting/ house hunting when i go down for spring break in a month. I am really excited to start life together where i get to live with him and wake up and go to bed together. on my last night there i just held him in bed while he was falling asleep and it made me so happy to hold him and know that he was beside with me, it felt like heaven in my arms. He may not be able to come to my graduation which would be extremely painful to walk across the stage without him being there, but we will see when that time comes. I miss him a ton, but i have to get through the next 3 months of school before real life can start. only a few more months...

Family day!!!

I got to see Wazi!!! the family day ceremony today was amazing. I got to run out and pick him out of the crowd but i couldnt be very affectionate because of military rules. I got to hug him and spend time walking around with him, it was so hard not to try and kiss him and hold him but i did really good. i get to wake up super early and go see his actual graduation ceremony which will be amazing but freezing since the temp dipped down in the teens at night and i of course did not bring a jacket because i thought, hey its the south it must be hot. They are in fact expecting snow tomorrow, I am making a trip to wally world to get me a big southern winter jacket. Tomorrow night we are going to a Tyler Perry show tomorrow night after spending a romantic day alone together. i love our families but i dont think i can deal with other people trying to pretend like I dont exist when it comes to my husbands personal space, i may not be able to hold his hand but i sho nuff want to stand next to him.

I did get to meet his military friends and see his life, it really made me proud of what he is doing and what he is standing for, hes already preplanned our housing situation for Ft. gordon and i cant wait to go scope out apartments in April so i can move after graduation. I cant believe i am seeing my husband and getting back to being a wife!

SuperBowl Sunday- flying in 3 days

I did a large amount of stuff around the house today, laundry, dishes, all around dusting. I watched the superbowl and was really excited that the Saints won, Wooo! I also got to catch up on homework and pack for the graduation. I am sooo excited, I even got us tickets to go see a Tyler Perry play with my mom and then a few nights in a nice hotel suite so we can have an early anniversary. Im also bringing the movie Jarheads, because for some reason he is really into watching military movies right now. I miss his terribly though, i cannot wait to see him in just a few days!

I must continue killing all of the dirt in my house, hopefully there will be no dog hair by the end of the night.

I am definately impulsive

I get to be with him an extra day! Wazi told me in his last letter which came a few days ago that he doesnt have to be to AIT until sunday afternoon and wanted to spend as much time with me as possible, well my flight leaves at 6am sunday and i got sad since it meant i would have to leave him saturday night. My plan is to surprise him and stay with him an extra day since our 3 year anniversary is that week and we cant be together. I am so excited i feel like i have to tell everyone! Now i just have to set up the hotel and everything and i should be set and ready, woot.

Tomorrow is the SuperBowl and i am excited but without having a male next to me screaming at the tv it sort of lost its meaning. I just want to see him and catch him up on real life. My plan is to do my homework and then pack my suitcase while watching the game, i luckily have tomorrow off so i dont have to try to cram everything in like i did today. I think my need to be compulsive is kicking in and now i want to plan a romantic date night with him in augusta and have an early anniversary present. I cant wait til i graduate so we can do this sort of thing every weekend if i want to, only a few more months Waz!

6 days!

I am officially sick and my ears are popping, yuck. I did get a large amount of homework done today but i have 1 more report to do and ill be done for the weekend and i can focus on packing to go see Wazi. I have no clue what to pack since there is a huge storm on the east coast and i only want to bring a carry on. I am getting more and more excited to see him that i go to bed just thinking about all the things I want to talk to him about. I miss being able to talk about our future together and all the fun things we want to do, being a military wife is definately going to be hard on me with the constant job changing but i am excited to travel. Now i have to think up a good graduation present to surprise him with, im thinking either a build a bear or a watch or something.

I cannot wait for him to start AIT so i can talk to him everyday and go visit him at least once a month. I know God is using this time to prepare both of us for being seperated because this is the second time we have been seperated for 6 months. This whole experience is helping us to become closer to the heart of what is important to us which is God and our future family (like 10 yeasr from now). I just cant wait to see how much he has changed!

night for now, M

Girls Night

GIRLS NIGHT! I am excited to watch a movie over a good home made dinner, well it may nto be good since I am cooking but at least its food. It seemed like no matter what i did today i was tired, i think i may be getting sick. I am so ready to see Wazi i think i may explode when i see him in a week. I feel like i have so much to say to him but i dont want to waste my time talking to him about the dogs and bills, i just want to catch up on whats important to us, good quality time. I get to spend a day with him and travel with him to AIT so thats a few hours in the car to just talk and catch up. I am so excited I already got my Pirates jersey which is his platoons mascot. I wanted to be dressed really cute and sexy when i first saw him but i know everyone elses wife will look like that and i want to let him know I am there for him only. Besides we are a sports family, so he would expect nothing less than me to be dressed like an all star.

Well the girls will be here in a few minutes and i have yet to start dinner. Only a few nights left and i get to see him. Yay!

...I am still not in bed...

Only 7 days until i fly out and 7 days and a wake up until i get to see him run out on the field and i jump into his arms and hug him for like 6 hours straight. I cannot wait!

Since i am still awake i will make my list of movies/tv shows id like to see in the next few weeks by netflix (which is like my new best friend who always brings over presents).
The boy in the striped pajamas
slumdog millionaire
the music man
smart people

this should keep me busy for about two weeks if i make an effort to watch the movie as soon as it arrives in the mail and then mail it back. This would probably be alot easier if i didnt have homework standing in the way. i am seriously going to start homework now, and then a movie to put me to sleep. Night
Mareisa

Day 2- The weekend is so close i can taste it!

The last time i took a vacation was my honeymoon six months ago, for most people they vacation once a year, i was definately used to taking a trip somewhere at least 2-3 times a year and i think I am in a California slump. The weather is blah, none of the people are smiling, and my dog no longer wants to walk outdoors because the grass is wet. I need summer to be here like yesterday.

Today was an extremely long day, I definately did not do enough homework last night and put it off until today and i have still yet to finish it. I was just so excited because i got my last letter before Wazi graduates in the mail today and it had his official military picture in it! I opened up the letter in class and almost cried ( had i not been sitting next to new students i may have). he always has a way of making me feel better in every letter that i really appreciate and miss in my daily life. He likes to make sure that I am taken care of and that I take time out for me, he knows me so well. I did accomplish officially selling his car today and giving over the papers and everything which was a relief but also sad. We traveled everywhere in that thing, every anniversary we jumped in and went to the beach. He wants a new super manly car now and i was out voted since i wanted a VW bug which is the exact opposite of manly and my Mom agreed with him so he won.

Even though today was busy i was trying really hard to think of a good graduation present for him that would be ready in a week. i was thinking of engraving something but I am not sure what he actually needs. He already has dog tags, he just got a new watch for Christmas, and you cant really give someone clothes for graduation. I dont want to be impersonal and give him a card and i really want to wow him. I think on Sunday while everyone is watching the SuperBowl ill adventure to the mall and find something that really reminds me of him. Tomorrow is busy too but I am excited because i get to sleep in for an hour AND i dont have to work tomorrow night so i get to hang out with some girl friends and watch the movie Amelie which i just got from Netflix so im excited.

Well i am off to work on some homework before the clock strikes 12 so I am not stuck doing tons of homework this weekend.

Day 1, I am somehow still sane...

I was sitting here trying to do my homework and i decided that i wanted to start writing things down so when my soldier husband has internet access he and our families can see whats going on. Ive been in a military family my whole life and i thought it would be a good idea to document as we go on through his career and moving from place to place and the changes we make. I think it will be really therapeutic to write how I'm feeling or how the day is going since i don't have someone to talk to about my day every night like i used to before he left ( november 9, 2009).

I leave in a week to go see Wazi (husband) at his basic training graduation. I am so excited not much has been getting me down this week and i sort of like this outlook on life, who knew i could be glass half full sometimes. Half of my family and his parents will be there to celebrate and cheer him on before he leaves the next day for his secondary training at AIT which will be for 6 whole months, but at least i might be able to move to where he is once i graduate college this May. I am just excited that when he is in AIT i will be able to talk to him every night on the phone and fly down to visit him at least once a month if i want to, it would be nice to get a little retreat away from daily life for awhile and just catch up with eachother and whats important to us. Since we have only been married since July its hard to be newlyweds 3,000 miles apart and without phones or internet for the last 3 months, its a little frustrating. I miss my husband, but somehow i feel like we are connecting more and more since we have only had communication through hand written letters, its really getting out some true emotion that i probably never would have seen if i saw him everyday.

well i have school in the morning and a large sum of homework which i have procrastinated against this week to do. 8 days and a wake up until graduation!