Saturday, April 24, 2010

I returned! heres an update of the week

I am pretty stressed out since there is only about 20 days left of the semester. I have been trucking along but i cannot focus on anything! I sit down to write a term paper and i get distracted by the dogs or the great weather or needing to vacuum, usually something stupid. then i get mad at myself around 10 when i realize i need to go to bed, arg!

But the good news is that Duke graduated! my baby girl passed her doggy class! she did so good and i was really nervous that she wouldnt pass but she did well. everyones families were there and it made me sad that i was by myself, but i realized that I am alright with being alone. I have gone to movies by myself and i can eat by myself so i can sure enough go to a dog graduation by myself.

Wazi is about to phase up to 5+ this week, i am really excited! this means he can come home on the weekend without driving back to formation everyday. It also means he can start setting up our house and turning on the electricity and stuff before i show up with all of our furniture. The furniture guys show up on the 7th and I graduate on the 15th and leave in the morning afte rgraduation. Also if waz phases up he might be coming home for my graduation!!! It would literally make all of my dreams come true if he could come to this one event. I miss him terribly.

Oh this is super scattered but here are some pictures from the beach too.

Monday, April 12, 2010

a weekend of really deep thoughts

This picture is the day I took him to MEPS and he left for basic training. It is hard to think that he left almost 6 months ago. I keep trying to think positively but one of my classes is trying to get me more "in touch" with my emotions and i realized I AM A WRECK! I have to make the decision everyday to choose to go on with my life without him being here and everyday i do that i push down my emotions that tell me to stay in bed all day and forget about school and work. my emotions are telling me to eat ice cream or take a hot bath because know one will care if i show up to class or not. My emotions are pretty negative I have to say. I am trying really hard to encourage everyone around me and be a strong shoulder but its hard because when i need a strong shoulder i dont see many people i could call at 1am besides my mom or waz.

If i keep going ill just get more and more negative so I am going to think about positive things. I went to IKEA and got the rest of our matching dishes yesterday and i was really excited to get new dishes for our new house. the other ones are pretty cheap and dont really hold up much to scratches and the dishwasher. I also went to church and heard an AMAZING message and it almost made me cry. Pastor Francis was talking about destiny and what do we think our future looks like, it was so perfect for me to hear. I have to make the decision to either trust God with my future and let him be in control or I can try to fight him for power and never win. I had a good long talk with God in the car on the way home and i decided i was going to help other people as much as i can. That very afternoon I signed up to be on the bone marrow registry and if anyone matches my type then i can give them bone marrow to save their life. I know it will be painful but I am really excited to do it, maybe it will show me how to live like others who are suffering.

night for now, 37 days until I am in my new home!

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Its been awhile...

So Its been about two weeks since Ive written but a TON of stuff has been going on.

1) I took my comp exam and not only did i pass, but I was one of the top 5 scores!

2) I flew down to augusta and had a large difficulty finding a place to live that would accept us and our dogs. People in the south are not exactly dog friendly when it comes to renting a home. We found one and Waz is turning in the lease tomorrow and we will officially be moving into our beautiful 3 bedroom house in May. He gets there May 1st and ill be there by the 20th, even though i am leaving here on the 16th. I am really excited to finally live with Waz again after 6 months and to just be an adult and be done with school. It was a lot of really hard work and it was scary to see the negotiating side of me, but we got it! We loved it because of the blue walls, its our wedding colors!

3) I realized today after writing out all of my assignments for the rest of the semester and I felt really accomplished. then i saw Kaela ( the best friend) and I realized that i wouldnt be able to see her everyday anymore or get to talk to her whenever i want or have our girls movie night on tuesday. I am so excited to move away, but I am realizing that I am going to have to go through this every time we move. I almost cried thinking about losing some friends, but then i realized that if the relationships are strong they will last no matter where i am. Ill miss my friends though.

4) wednesday night happy hour with my girls has become a raging success. We are known by name at the bar and the bartender loves us and allows us to be horribly obnoxious. He let us call him enrique and tell him to water down drinks of the boys we didnt like across the bar. I love that i can still have this fun without trying to get drunk or get into competition. He tries to get us to drink more and we try to get him to talk more and he listens to whats going on in our life and gives advice, its like the tv show cheers. i love it! I am really glad i have friends who care enough to go out with me in the middle of the week and live in a town small enough that my name is remembered.